There’s a store: The husband store.
It’s exactly what it sounds like — a store women can go to choose a husband.
A woman walks past the husband store to her surprise, and excitedly goes in, finding instructions at the entrance:
You may visit the store only once.
There are six floors and the qualities of the men increase as the shopper goes up each floor. You can choose a husband from any floor, or you may go up another floor, however you cannot go back down a floor, only to leave the building.
(There’s always a catch isn’t there?)
She steps forward to floor 1 where she finds a sign that reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
‘Good start, let’s see what floor 2 has to offer.’ And the woman ascends to floor 2.
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
Remembering that the qualities increase at every floor, she goes up one more.
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
“This is amazing, how long have I been looking for this?!” she says to herself, but keeps going anyways.
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.
‘Finally! What must the fifth floor have?!’
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
At this she’s so, so, tempted to stay. It speaks to so much of what she’s wanted. It’s like it read her diary. She can barely take it… And yet…. She goes on to the 6th floor.
Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,268,497,013 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Incidentally, a wife store also opened up with the same rules.
Floor 1 - This floor has wives that love sex.
Floor 2 - This floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third through sixth floors have never been visited…
Ok, Ok, we’re kidding. And don’t intend to spread any stereotypes that don’t do justice to the uniqueness and complexity of us all. But all jokes aside — and beyond the idea of anything inherently male or female — between the stories of these two stores lays the great challenge of practicing contentment VS. seeking to make valuable changes in life and climb new heights. (And the sometimes difficult discernment this takes.) It highlights universal questions of our relationship to life and our own pulse of joy and longings within. It shares sparks with the famous Serenity prayer to, “… grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” And the theme of today’s blog.
Desiring Contentment
The buddhist teachings speak of how desires, in and of themselves, will never end. If all we ever did was follow desire after desire, we’d have some temporarily relief (which is to be distinguished from joy, bliss or peace) but end up tired, frustrated and spiritually bankrupt in the end. How many of us have entered one of those stores again, and again, and again?
Whereas contentment, they say, is a great virtue and gift to our lives and the lives of those around us. Fostering the clarity and peace of mind we seek, and seek through desires as well.
The nuisance is no easy thing. It’s not to say the woman should have settled for floor 1 husband just because that’s what she has or is offered. As if that would have honoured the depth of being. As if there isn’t a great (sometimes mysterious) bounty in the universe and a longing pulsing deep within us. It doesn’t mean we don’t make changes to architect our lives in a way that honours and supports what is of essential value in life, what we care about and want to see more of in the world.
The Buddha and his disciples did too. Otherwise we wouldn’t still be benefiting from it so many centuries later (and able to offer the gift to others centuries down the road who still may need it in this ‘ocean of samsara’).
Everything in life, throughout all of nature, needs a supportive structure, to thrive and be well. If you’re stressed out with nerves fried, it’s a good idea to step away and change the course of things — run an MSM filled bath and let it all wash away; or to take a break and get out in nature to rejuvenate; incorporate the muscle relaxing (and brain supportive) mineral magnesium, as well as medicinal mushrooms like our complete 360 blend, meditation and the things that help the body-mind settle.
If you have chronically low energy, isn’t it wise to do something about it? Start taking daily Cordyceps; get to sleep earlier; invite in more creative inspiration in your life, and carve out time for something that brings that spark alive in you, and feeds you in the way these things do.
It’s not just about being contented with, and accepting, unhealthy conditions or an unhealthy world. That’s apathy, not contentment. And the lives of the men and women of the Buddhadharma reflect this too in their immensity of compassion in both action and acceptance.
Relaxation, Energy and Clarity
How do we know which situations to be content with — knowing the nature of desire — and which to change or to reach and strive ‘higher’ for? It’s not always easy, that’s why it’s called a ’Serenity Prayer’ that asks for both courage and wisdom. Qualities that are key.
When serenity, courage and wisdom are combined, we are more relaxed and less reactive, more energized and empowered in taking necessary steps or rooting where we are, and inwardly and outwardly clearer in what to do.
We are more akin to what the wisdom traditions call ’our nature’, and more easily able to resonant and attune to act in that guidance.
That’s why making sure we take care of the foundations of relaxation, energy and a Clear Mind, in any decisions, or changes, we’re making is so important; so to not fall into either ‘trap’ of being apathetic in what’s fundamentally unhealthy, or groundlessly chasing bigger and bigger fantasies, shinier and shinier things — on the wheel of desire — without awareness and careful attendance to our responsibility in cause and effect. Both paths are recipes for distraction, loss of presence, and burnout in continual dissatisfaction. Getting in line with all the disappointed ones that walked to the 6th floor — Number 3,268,497,014.
Studying the depth of a wisdom tradition, along side practice, is designed to bring about this natural arising of courage and wisdom, joy and serenity within you; alongside supports like diet and healthy, effective, supplementation. (And also studying and learning of the nature of desire helps us put it in its right place.)
Magic In The Lion Stance
It’s wise to be clear on our tendencies. Do we tend to frantically try and change the outside with little regard of the inner perception? Or do we not take simple action when simple action is there to be taken and ‘psychologize’ every little thing? (Both of which can be crazy making!)
When it comes to a more ‘psycho-emotional’ discontent it’s wiser, the wisdom traditions say, to look inwardly, and make changes there first. If the root of the problem is primarily inward, nothing we do externally will truly help. Through a change of fundamental perception, you may just find the situations and the world you inhabit, and the people you share it with, can shine with a new wonder and possibility. If the situations around you don’t appear better, or start to look even worse, those internal changes will likely make the lack of resonance between inward and outward so intense and refined, an outward change will become inevitable; and more aspects of our being will be on board to do it. Ultimately leading us to the right ‘floor’ of the right ‘store’, in for what our path to true luminosity requires and asks of us. Sometimes it’s true —‘the way out, is through’.
Regardless, setting a foundation for relaxation, energy and clarity, smooths out any position we’re in, and makes for a clearer recognition of what we’re looking at in life. What we’re actually looking for in life, and the way there. Giving us the ability to find the serenity, courage, and wisdom to step the ‘right’ way; know when to wait and when to act; become more aware of and thankful for what is being offered to us — both in the difficulties and the more obvious blessings; to know a mind and body at ease, free and clear in greater harmony with the world around us, and move towards a depth of true peace, profound connection, and vibrancy — regardless what comes — which is ultimately the point isn’t it?
Who knows what magic may unfold from such a potent inner stance. Who knows how life may meet us in that readiness. Who knows what unexpected graces and gifts await the inner posture of a lion. Ready to receive and act. At ease and fully dynamic. Surveying, as if above, yet part of the action on the ground. Integral and connected: Our most natural inner posture.
