Word on the 6th century B.C streets of ancient India has it that, if you’ve been shot by an arrow and a 2nd arrow happens to land in the exact same spot only moments later, the pain isn’t just double but 10 times worse.
The Buddha spoke of this and, likened it to when we experience some type of pain or suffering (the 1st arrow), then tense up automatically resisting it, and spin painful stories we then obsess over (the 2nd arrow) which are often far worse than the reality of the 1st arrow itself. Now we have two pains instead of one manageable one.
For example —
- A new mole appears on our arm and we fear it’s the harbinger of something terrible when, most likely, it’s just a small mole — nothing more.
- A relationship ends and we make it mean something about our lack of worth fearing we’ll be alone for all eternity. (Drama!)
- We lose something we value and worry we won’t ever be as happy again without it.
- We fail a test and believe it means we ourselves are a failure, relegated to a life of being unfulfilled, and will NEVER have another chance.
Sound familiar?
Basically it’s a lot like teenage hormones fuelled by too many tv shows running our emotions and minds wild. S%*t happens. This we can’t always avoid. That’s the 1st arrow. (And too much avoidance energy can easily become a chronic case of 2nd arrows.) The 2nd arrow is where we have more choice. So how do we guard against our own 2nd arrows?
Between the literal happening itself and our response is a gap. In that gap is the freedom and potential to choose. But we can’t experience that gap or dodge the 2nd arrow and freely choose if stuck in a habitually reactive mind with the amygdala and default mode network of the brain running the show. With that state of mind the gap will be nearly imperceptible.
We need presence of mind. We need the ability to relax and be aware of our thoughts, feelings, and bodies. We need to keep chill about it, stay calm and see clearly. That’s the all important step numero uno! Everything else can flow from there.
And is precisely where working with the breath, meditation, and taking adaptogens like the medicinal mushrooms comes in. Regular use of the medicinal mushrooms, such as Red Reishi or Chaga, can help regulate our system, relax that default mode network, and turn up the parasympathetic ‘vagal’ states associated with emotional intelligence, and responsiveness instead of reactivity, so you can better cope with the arrows of life in an intelligent and proactive, and generally dignified way. There we said it. (The ancients in Tibetan, Chinese and the shamanic medicines prized the medicinal mushrooms as the top of the heap for this.)
In the actual moment, when you find your body tensing up, your energies and emotions heating up, and your mind rushing off to some painful story or possibility — the simplest and most effective way to deal with the incoming 2nd arrows is to first turn toward the breath. (Remember if you really must panic you can always do so later. Tantrums can still happen. Just let them be wise tantrums if needed.)
Try This —
Start by becoming aware of your breathing as it is. Nothing to change yet. Sense air entering and leaving your nostrils. What temperature is the air?
Bring your attention to the abdomen, gently rising and falling with your breath. Gently, and easefully, allow the breath to flow all the way down into the belly, filling it back to front without force, while letting the abdomen relax as much as possible. Notice the things of the mind, feelings, and body, come and go. You may even repeat, ‘I’m breathing into my belly. Look at this.’
(If after some time of this you’re still not a little centred and clear, use your senses first: Look around you. What do you see? What sounds do you hear? Can you feel your feet on the ground? Allow your eyes to naturally move around the environment to land on whatever they naturally do.)
With practice a level of both health detachment from the intensity of the moment, and clarity, can arise in an instant.
Once settled, and the initial threat of the arrow has passed, use that intelligent prefrontal cortex of yours and reassess the situation. Be aware of your mind. Get clear on what is the reality here and now, what’s a story (regardless of how likely you are convinced it is), and creatively respond to the moment with grace and possibility. No matter how much we think we know what will happen, the amount of actual information we have on this is almost nothing. And mostly past projection onto the now. So you can be free.
The results of that choice will be far better in the long run, and require a lot less Bandaids, than obsessing over the ‘what ifs’, the self judgements, the anger or fear about a situation, and the many ways we magically conjure a world of stress and insanity for ourselves (which rarely helps anything last we checked).
So the moral is —
The arrows of life will come and the arrows of life will go. But don’t add unnecessary pain onto pain. There’s enough suffering going around already. Be patient with yourself in this practice of dodging arrows. Be gentle with your feelings, and don’t hang around archery ranges, especially while wearing a bullseye t-shirt (literally or metaphorically). Otherwise, well, you had it coming! And that’s the compassionate truth!
Ps.
It’s worth remembering too that through lifestyle, diet, supplementation, how we use our minds and see the world, we can reduce many of our 1st arrows and lessen a lot of suffering in general. And if you’re in physical pain Recovery Extra Strength or Recovery 3.0 can help with getting calm and clear as well. Sometimes we just need to get out of pain on a physiological level, so we can rest and relax a bit, before we can begin to catch and re-pattern our minds and hearts. Especially if we’ve been in a chronic state of pain and stress for far too long! All the ease to you and your loved ones friends!
